In-Class Humor Column

 

People suck. 

Okay, maybe that came off a little wrong. But I work in retail, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. All I do all day is talk to people. And most of them do in fact, suck.

I won't name exactly where I work but it's a small store where you can find a little bit of everything, kind of like Dollar General, a lot of what you want, none of what you need. Luckily, none of the grief I get comes from my co-workers, whom I love.  It all comes down to, you, the customers. 

While many people come in and don't need assistance for their browsing, pick-ups, and quick drop-ins, some particularly difficult people come in. At least once per shift, I am yelled at, disrespected, and threatened with a call to corporate, which isn't really a threat by the way, I do not care about keeping this job at all and I certainly don't get paid enough to put up with the tantrums of full-grown adults.

Like the time an older woman had finished her shopping, walked up to the self-checkout line, and stood there, staring at me, until I said "Ma'am this is self-checkout." She apparently did not like that and said "I don't come into this store to do your fucking job.", pushed her basket of things toward a random aisle, and walked out. 

Or the time a 50-year-old man walked up to me while stocking shelves and proceeded to tell me he could take me away from all of the "Hard labor they make you do here baby." before being respectfully shot down and escorted out yelling at me for being "ungrateful".

That didn't even scratch the surface of what I go through daily.

Imagine it's a Saturday night, work is pretty slow, you're on shift with your favorite coworker, and it's closing time. you informed all of the people inside that they had to check out as we would be closing in about 5 minutes. Now imagine a grizzly bear barging in. You say "Good evening sir, just to let you know we do close in about five minutes." Simple right? no. 

Imagine that bear snarls at you and says several things along the lines of "I only need one thing.", "don't rush me.", and "I'm old enough to be your father show respect." (another thing you can imagine is that this is a 65-year-old bear AT LEAST and your father is in his early 40s so, no this bear couldn't be your father, your grandfather at best). 

After checking out the last few customers and no longer engaging with the bear, you are forced to give one more warning "Sir, I'm shutting down our POS system." to which he responds "BE QUIET! SHOW RESPECT, I WILL CALL CORPORATE!" in front of two women and their young children. The bear would then slam down his two pieces of Nerds Ropes candy, and a Redbull (yet he only needed ONE thing, Remember?), and storm out. 

Now, sure. In my case, it wasn't a bear but a grumpy old man who got mad when he was told the rules of the store and given the same notice we give the rest of the customers, but it was very similar to the vicious growl of a baby bear who's being shooed away from your picnic table. Did he call corporate? I'm not sure. Do I still have my job? of course, they can't afford to fire me, who else but a college student will work long, random hours for minimal pay?

The point is, working retail can make you lose all hope, and interest in humanity. So maybe when you walk into a troe